My Most Perfect Afternoon

Each time I think I have experienced all the emotions at their deepest points in this fostercare world, something else happens. Today started with an almost blank schedule, a late drop off at daycare and about 15 minutes of "What should I do all day?" Then the phone rang. I'd been hoping for a good long while that this invitation would come and had recently dismissed entirely that it would ever happen. Apparently, good things come to those who wait (albeit impatiently). Today, I was invited to see Beignet for the first time since she moved.

I don't remember the last time I had been so nervous--the willing the clock to move faster but worrying what will happen at the end kind of nervous. In the end though, there was no need for such worry. Baby B gave me the biggest hug--it may have equaled 6 months of bedtime hugs, a tour of many things special in her life (like baby dolls and High School Musical DVDs), and a spur of the moment letter written as I sat watching: Tammy, you are so nice and so sweet, Tammy. XO XO.

Today was a good reminder for me of some of the reasons I did not choose to adopt Beignet. The idea that I wasn't ready to get off the foster ride but felt that she didn't need to be on it any longer. That she should have brothers and sisters. That the fast paced life of a two person family wasn't what she would find in a ten person family. That what might be out there for her was more perfect than staying here.

Today was reassurance that things for her are as they should be. For today, I am thankful.