Two Weeks In

This is my Facebook status today, in honor of one friend who likes to "keep it real" by announcing her parenting flaws:

Realities #1-6: 1. One of my kids spent 10 1/2 hrs in daycare today. 2. Our awesome pediatrician felt so bad for me carrying two kids who just had at least 5 pokes each out of her office that she carried one all the way to my car and even buckled her in. 3. I fed my kids fast food for dinner. 4. And canned pears. 5. And at the advice of a specialist we see, I let one kid DRINK THE HEAVY SYRUP from the pears. and 6. My baby will go not only to school tomorrow, but also to a bio visit looking TOTALLY like a white woman is raising her bc I didn't have time to finish her hair.

And this is my new profile picture:

We are doing this fostercare thing in style. We hit the ground running at almost midnight two weeks ago and haven't stopped since.

Welcome Speed, my handsome three-year-old, who doesn't talk much and was recently described by someone as "a darter." Keep your eye on this boy. Not just because if you turn your back he's run way far away from you, but because he's going to move fast in the healing process. I see the sparkle in his eye every now and again and just know it.

Welcome Sunshine, my darling two-year-old, whose real name is the most fitting name for her ever. Sunshine saves her words for rare instances. She is an observer who pops into our play and conversation at her own pace. She is mama to our baby. She is mama to our brother. She is learning to be two.

Welcome Chickadee, my adorable 12 month old, who is as teeny as they come. She has humongous eyes that watch us all. She gives bear hugs around my neck. She loves the carrier. She eats like a football player.

There was a time not long ago where kids were put here to stay. Not once, but twice. I have a healing house for bio moms, I guess. There was also a time not long ago when my focus changed from what I wanted for the kids to what I wanted for me.

It all felt wrong.

So here we are again. Loving on other people's babies while they can't. Showing kids how to go down slides and make bubbles out of soap on their hands. Teaching them ABCs, 123s, This Little Piggy, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider. Accepting that they probably aren't here to stay but adoring every minute of every bit of them while they are here.

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Bug and Beignet, Summer 2009