On Permanency

We found out a little bit about the kids' case this morning. Which is to say we found out not very much. Which is to say we still have no idea where this case is going. Which is to say we are EIGHT months into what should be a twelve month process and little progress has been made.

All I can think right now is: Any gain will be a loss.

If they return to their family, they lose security and safety.
If a dad steps forward for one, they lose each other.
If they move on to extended family, they lose familiarity.
If they stay here, they lose knowing their birth family on top of already losing the safe and happy place in a birth family everyone should have.

Any gain will be a loss.

Raw Chicken

Speed, while watching me prepare a whole chicken for the crockpot:

"Mommy Tammy, why you hand in that chicken butt?"

And that sums up the EXACT reason that I hate cooking raw chickens.

The Key Master

Phone message from Speed's early intervention teacher yesterday:
"Hi Tammy, this may be an unusual request but I'm looking for a lost key and was wondering...."

Speed LOVES keys. He loves them so much that we have at least four sets of pretend keys and he has a few "real" keys he's allowed to use. He loves them SO much that we have a rule in our  house that no one is allowed to touch Mommy Tammy's keys except Mommy Tammy herself. He follows this rule so well that, if I drop my keys while getting Chickadee out of the car and he is right there at my feet, he will not pick up my keys unless I give him permission.

The boy LOVES keys.

So I was not at all surprised, or offended, when I was asked to search my guy's belongings for the missing key.

As it turns out, he didn't have it. They found it later on the playground. Yet it wouldn't have surprised any of us to see it in his backpack.

Speed was the first logical guess.

A True Friend...

...goes with us to the unexciting 24 hour breakfast place near daycare for dinner, spends so much time cutting up Speed's pancake that I am sure her meal was cold (mine was, as I did the same thing for Sunshine), holds Chickadee while I finish eating, gets thrown up on by said sweet baby, and then insists on treating us all.

We are so blessed with a huge village. One villager in particular, our church mama, has certainly loved on us plenty lately! How lucky I am to have people sharing this journey, vomit and all, with me!

It's A Small World

I've been feeling guilty lately. My kids have not been to Sea World. Or the Nature Center. Or the Waco Zoo. They've only been to Chik Fil A twice and McD's a few times when we trade off the Sisters. We've only been to an actual PLAYGROUND a handful of times.

Why?

Because they like it small. They like it comfortable. They like it familiar. Two of them don't roll well with new and unusual. If it's not small, one of them crawls inside herself and the other one sorta freaks out a bit.

So we are spreading our wings exxxxxxxxxtra slowly. We've ventured successfully to a new park (and by "successfully" I mean no one peed, no one threw an unexplainable fit, and no one covered his/her eyes and ears in response to a new sound). We've gone to the same few restaurants a handful of times each, enjoying them more each time. We went to the Chuy's parade at Christmas though that was a bit much and made me reel it in for the rest of the Christmas season.

That we are this stay at home-ish made me question if I am doing this right. The professionals are saying "yes, keep it small. Keep it familiar."

So we're keeping it in the playroom with legos and tea parties and the same 3 diaper boxes we've played in since June. We're keeping it in the cul-de-sac with bikes and trucks and sidewalk chalk.

Maybe one day we'll make it down to see Shamu. Maybe we won't. Maybe one day the one who isn't affected by outings will want to spread her wings and we'll hire a sitter for the other two. Maybe we are just destined to grow big in the same small spaces for now.

Sign of the Times

Speed, pretending to see what the weather is going to be by looking at the back of the newspaper:

"Oh, hang on. Need my glasses so see."

Then he got up, found some sunglasses in the toy bins, put them on the edge of his nose, and told us:

"'Morrow be sunny. Not chilly."

Smart boy.

Close Enough

It appears that living with a speech therapist is not a cure all.

We have friends who just recently had twins. I was showing the kids pictures of the babies on the computer, and then pulled up a picture of a very pregnant Miss Katie.

Speed: Miss Katie have big boobs. Very big boobs.
Me: What??
Speed: Her boobs is big.
Me: Show me.

Points.

Me: Oh, you mean BOOTS! Yeh, her boots are really big.